28/02: Potatoes Rule The World!
Category: Imagination Station
Posted by: wingnut
I’m sure you thought Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head were the invention of a human genius with a strange sense of humor, but this is absolutely not true, but if the real mind behind this Multi-Eye phenomenon were to come forward and state the real story, he’d have to kill us all. Something about a high level security clearance from what I’ve gathered. I can tell you that Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head try very hard to blend in our very human world because, well, how would you infiltrate if you didn’t?
It started long ago before the Irish came to America with a sack of potatoes, renegade bulbous creatures who left their roots deep in the earth. You see, the true race of potatoes lives far underground, and sends “produce” close to the surface to spy on us. That’s why they have all those eyes you know.
And they actually rule us from underground. But the rebel movement, “Mashed Potatoes” is fast organizing to conquer them and take our world back once and for all. Or maybe they are some of the spies. After all, they’ve never undergone an eye-count, have they?
The plot, our should we say “gravy,” thickens!
It started long ago before the Irish came to America with a sack of potatoes, renegade bulbous creatures who left their roots deep in the earth. You see, the true race of potatoes lives far underground, and sends “produce” close to the surface to spy on us. That’s why they have all those eyes you know.
And they actually rule us from underground. But the rebel movement, “Mashed Potatoes” is fast organizing to conquer them and take our world back once and for all. Or maybe they are some of the spies. After all, they’ve never undergone an eye-count, have they?
The plot, our should we say “gravy,” thickens!
12/02: If Money Grew On Trees
Category: Imagination Station
Posted by: wingnut
“Do you think money grows on trees?”
I hear my wallet crying. But there is an alternate universe somewhere that grows money trees in big green forests. In some places they grow faster than weeds---but that’s small change.
If you want big bucks you have to go deep into the rain forest of the International Money Pot Jungle where the high dollar bills grow. You will want to come prepared with gloves, a canoe, money crates and hiking boots to trek across mountains, ford streams, and of course, pick your choice of greenback.
Of course, you must carefully choose the trees you pick from. The yen tree brings a different value than the pound, euro, dollar or lira trees. Naturally the more valuable greens are most difficult to find with harder to reach blooms.
Once harvested, you must keep your money fresh and crisp, because everyone knows what a pain it is to put a wimpy wrinkled dollar bill through a change machine. Picked bills must be carefully placed onto the money crates in layers and secured for drying. Dried money may then be packaged for shipping across multinational borders and traded for goods or stockpiled in the Federal Reserve.
Of course, the flip side of this whole concept is: If money grew on trees, half the world would develop an allergy to it.
Well, I knew there was a catch.
I hear my wallet crying. But there is an alternate universe somewhere that grows money trees in big green forests. In some places they grow faster than weeds---but that’s small change.
If you want big bucks you have to go deep into the rain forest of the International Money Pot Jungle where the high dollar bills grow. You will want to come prepared with gloves, a canoe, money crates and hiking boots to trek across mountains, ford streams, and of course, pick your choice of greenback.
Of course, you must carefully choose the trees you pick from. The yen tree brings a different value than the pound, euro, dollar or lira trees. Naturally the more valuable greens are most difficult to find with harder to reach blooms.
Once harvested, you must keep your money fresh and crisp, because everyone knows what a pain it is to put a wimpy wrinkled dollar bill through a change machine. Picked bills must be carefully placed onto the money crates in layers and secured for drying. Dried money may then be packaged for shipping across multinational borders and traded for goods or stockpiled in the Federal Reserve.
Of course, the flip side of this whole concept is: If money grew on trees, half the world would develop an allergy to it.
Well, I knew there was a catch.
Category: Imagination Station
Posted by: wingnut
1. Always had to tell the truth?
2. Were personally affected by every law they personally voted for?
3. Had to earn their living as actors?
4. Waited tables instead?
5. Had to clean up after themselves?
6. Created transcripts with real world translation?
7. Used subtitles? ---sorry, Jackie Chan movie was on….
8. Wore signs that reflected their voting record?
9. Lost their benefits the way others lose theirs during a downturn?
10. Last, but not least—what if congressman ere not allowed to vote on their own pay, rather, that their pay was automatically determined by a percent of the government’s budget---which was also determined by the health of the economy?
2. Were personally affected by every law they personally voted for?
3. Had to earn their living as actors?
4. Waited tables instead?
5. Had to clean up after themselves?
6. Created transcripts with real world translation?
7. Used subtitles? ---sorry, Jackie Chan movie was on….
8. Wore signs that reflected their voting record?
9. Lost their benefits the way others lose theirs during a downturn?
10. Last, but not least—what if congressman ere not allowed to vote on their own pay, rather, that their pay was automatically determined by a percent of the government’s budget---which was also determined by the health of the economy?
Category: Imagination Station
Posted by: wingnut
*Noe: Backdated to original posting date.*
Somewhere out there is another universe where our reality is science fiction and our science fiction is true reality. At least, it could be so. If it were so, the rules would change and much would be different, say in a world where pigs had wings.
In a universe where pigs have wings a football goes further. Sometimes, you don’t have to throw it. Just say, “Fly My Pretty Pork Chop” while your opponent yells, “Get down here little Slabbaham!” The field is covered in feathers by the end of the game and one team will have always smoked the other’s HamHocks.
Don’t forget the Olympics, also known as “The Bacon Wars.” Train your pig, make sure it’s fit to fly, provide the proper porcine vitamins, multi-vitamins, uber streuber vitamins, porci-roids, antibiotics, and benyporcidryl, for allergic reactions to all of the above. Oh, and you might jump ahead on your investment by providing honey-glazed cinnamon pills marinated in pineapple juice so that, should your boarable creature have a heart attack during trials, you can provide the proper funeral, followed by a luau.
Obviously, the Paparazzi will be angling for the best story, whose team mascot has the best wingspan and which coach looked most ridiculous chewing on chicken jerky. Still, the mud carpet provides some earthy quality to the overall effect of the total event , and each little piggy can proudly way his team flag as he squeals “wee wee wee” all the way home.
Somewhere out there is another universe where our reality is science fiction and our science fiction is true reality. At least, it could be so. If it were so, the rules would change and much would be different, say in a world where pigs had wings.
In a universe where pigs have wings a football goes further. Sometimes, you don’t have to throw it. Just say, “Fly My Pretty Pork Chop” while your opponent yells, “Get down here little Slabbaham!” The field is covered in feathers by the end of the game and one team will have always smoked the other’s HamHocks.
Don’t forget the Olympics, also known as “The Bacon Wars.” Train your pig, make sure it’s fit to fly, provide the proper porcine vitamins, multi-vitamins, uber streuber vitamins, porci-roids, antibiotics, and benyporcidryl, for allergic reactions to all of the above. Oh, and you might jump ahead on your investment by providing honey-glazed cinnamon pills marinated in pineapple juice so that, should your boarable creature have a heart attack during trials, you can provide the proper funeral, followed by a luau.
Obviously, the Paparazzi will be angling for the best story, whose team mascot has the best wingspan and which coach looked most ridiculous chewing on chicken jerky. Still, the mud carpet provides some earthy quality to the overall effect of the total event , and each little piggy can proudly way his team flag as he squeals “wee wee wee” all the way home.
