The troops of the Tuffblo Tissue Brigade were called to active duty this week.  Apparently, alien invaders from Planet Virusis have descended upon us and declared real germ warfare.  Colonel Puffrite has declared a state of emergency as weapon medicinery supply lines form at the rear.  ParAhchewters are Katching Kavictims through Kaneighborhoods uptown.  The assailants are described as green gooeys with gogettem gallantry, appreicated only by nastygerms.  Kleenexes lineup in formation Krowding out mentholatum jars and chicken flavor cuposoups from garbage bins all over town.

In suburbs, beeping thermometers roam rampant while parents chase their children across sickrooms everywhere in vain attempts to verify what they already know:  that their kid has a fever.  Elsewhere, trails of noodle bits and cracker crumbs lead to lairs of SWN (sickies without nurses) who must try to fend for themselves in a dizzy state.

Downtown, a major league basketball game was sneezed out.  Officials are still awaiting the go ahead to reschedule, but the league commissioner is out of commission.  Meanwhile, investors are putting their trust in chicken soup stock and prices on milk and dairy products continue to sour.  Also affected are the trendsetters, whose latest fad is the BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) diet.  This regime encourages regularity when all systems are go too often.

Strategic advisors suggest storming local doctor's office at the break of noon if you can pry your poor beaten body from the tissue formations around your bed.  Use of a crowbar, however, is discouraged.

Have we progressed in the crusade against the Cold Crud? 

The tissue box poll says . . . ACHOO!

From Wanda's Weekly Entry Copyright © 1999