Thinker Thelma needed to think.
She thinked in the daytime.
She thunk through the night.
She thunk till her eyes turned purple and
white.
She thinked and she thunk.
She thunk and she thought.
She thought till her brainwaves tangled a
big knot.
Thinker Thelma's think muscles cramped up
real tight.
She couldn't think one thought if she used
all her might.
The best she could do was empty her brain.
Right through her head she let each
thought drain.
From the thud of the first one to dripping
the last,
She squeezed herself tight and sealed her
brain fast.
She aired out her brain and her head til
it froze.
She warmed up her cheeks until she
supposed
She was ready.
Thelma colored a book.
She drew a picture.
She played on the swings.
She snuck a sneaksnack.
She strected out her thinker muscles slow
and steady.
Finally Thinker Thelma, thinker that she
was
Thought of all things that a great thinker
does.
After many days thinking
And nights she thunk too--
She found a great thought, grand through
and through:
The greatest of thoughts are the thinks
that we do.
Something dark entered from somewhere deep
And interrupted my blissful sleep.
I shrieked at my sweetheart as it swooped and fluttered.
He looked at the thing and loudly stuttered,
“S- s- s- son, crawl across to the w-w-window,” he hissed.
The thing tried to lock eyes, but it missed.
“Look at the wings on that flying rat—
More beady eyes, I’ve not seen on a bat.”
I hid under cover with my youngest and shook
While my eldest inquired about buying a book.
“Just open the window and hide,” I said.
The bat flew into his room to his bed.
Finally it napped on the edge of the door.
My hero hubby snuck through the hall near the floor.
He opened the window so it could flee.
Eventually it awoke and flew. I was free!
To this day I make sure I close all the doors
To places with holes in the walls or the floors.
I leave not one window open an inch
Lest something unique fly my way in a pinch.
It’s been a few weeks since
It invaded my space
But I’m not the same person
And this isn’t the same place.
The
Horrible End Of Ms. Wrider du Ripes
It was all Hallow’s
Eve;
The eyeballs were brewing;
The broom was stuck in the corner, and
stewing.
The apples of candy and corn with three
stripes
Were caught in the teeth of Ms. Wrider du ripes.
She sat at her computer—her fingers were
flying.
The monitor sweat as it blinked from its
crying.
It sputtered and spat as it gave up the
ghost.
Then it whispered the insult that bothered
her most.
The mouse pipped with squeaks in its
tracking ball.
The broom hit the floor and joined in the
brawl.
“My headlines! My deadlines!” howled the writer
in pain.
“I’ll never see daylight or email
again!”
Her heart burst in fright at such a
terrible thought,
And all her hard work came to an end for
naught.
Let this be a lesson to writers of gore,
Nonfiction, or romance, or hist’ry of
yore.
At this time of year please remember, be
friendly
Or your computer equipment may bring on
your endly.
She stalks her opponent
Until it’s time to pounce:
A pen, a bug, or her toy mouse.
All over the house she races until—aha!
She’s got it covered with her paw.
She flicks, she tosses, and she dribbles
Until she has me convinced that
If reincarnation is part of the deal,
Then once in a previous life
My cat played world class soccer.
My
dad is the tallest man in the world
With
the biggest muscles ever seen;
He
isn't scared of anything big, bad, or mean!
He
carries me like a plane up high;
He
knows all there is to know:
Like
when, where, and why!
And
where's the place to go.
My
dad walks above the water,
He
can fill the clouds with rain.
He
grills the bestest hamburgers
And
makes the buns from grain.
He
catches fish with poles he makes
And
fries them up just right.
When
he goes camping, I'm not afraid
Cuz
he scares the monsters of the night.
He
can make toys better'n Santa Claus,
And
he can fix 'em too.
He
runs the fastest,
Jumps
the highest,
And
he's way smarter
Than
you!
He
knows all the magic in the world
And
can do it on a whim.
He's
the world's biggest bestest hero,
And
I wanna grow up
To
be a bigger bester Daddyhero . . .
Just
like Him!!!
(This poem is available as a
plaque or bookmark)